EPILOGUE A street in Verona
Enter Rosaline and pals
Girl 1
So like, can you believe what happened with Romeo and Juliet?
Girl 2
Oh my god I know! So ridiculous.
Girl 1
I thought it was sweet.
Girl 2
I thought it was fucked!
Girl 1
Oh come on, you didn’t think Romeo was being, like, even a tiny bit romantic?
Girl 2
Ye-ah, not romantic enough for me to kill myself!
Girl 1
Hey Rosaline, didn’t you, like, used to date Romeo?
Rosaline
Date? Oh my god more like get stalked by! Please. I barely even spoke to him. And he tried this horrible pick up line about priests praying and how we should make our lips like palms and kiss or whatever. So gross. I bet that skank Juliet loved it, though. Ew. And then he like, fell in love with me and totally wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually I had to tell him I was becoming a nun and joining a convent just to get him to go away. God I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. It’s just too gross.
Girl 2
OOOH, sounds like someone is a little bit jea-lous of Juli-eeeet!
Rosaline
Juliet? Please! I’m her cousin. Or, was. But whatever, I am not jealous of Juliet. Even though she was like, always the favorite, cause she was like, the heir and all. But you know what? I think she was like, actually retarded. Like, I’m not even kidding. Seriously, I think its just cause she’s an only child and her parents are super rich. She was always such an idiot. You know its true.
Girl 1
Yeah, you may be right. I mean, Romeo was cute, and was like, kinda romantic and all, but like, not worth all that.
Rosaline
And defintitley not worth those stupud fucking gold statues. Barf! Look, Romeo was an asshole. A complete and total asshole. So was Juliet. Those two got what they deserved. And Tybalt, Mercutio and Count Paris? Eh, Verona is better off without them too, believe me.
Girl 2
Hah, you’re such a bitch. I love it. So, what do you think of Benvolio?
Rosaline
Oh my god, speaking of retards...
The End
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