The Tragical History of Bromeo & Drooliet Act IV Scene III

SCENE III. Juliet's fuckin chamber.

Enter JULIET and Nurse
JULIET
Ok, Nurse, thanks for your help but I’m good for now. You can go ahead and like, leave.
Enter LADY CAPULET
LADY CAPULET
Juliet my dear! I’m so glad you’ve changed your mind about this wedding. Is there anything I can do right now to help?
JULIET
No thanks mom, I got it. I’d rather be alone now so I can pray for god to help me be a faithful and obedient wife to Count Paris.
LADY CAPULET
A blessed notion indeed. We shall take our leave then. Good night dear!
Exeunt LADY CAPULET and Nurse
JULIET
Okay, guess it’s time to do this. Come on, Juliet! You can do this. I’m sure Friar Laurence didn’t give you, like, actual poison. Just something that will make you seem dead. And I’m sure he knows it will work because he’s rigorously tested it many times. There’s no way he handed me some random vial of stuff he just hopes will work because he heard about it from some other friar or because he picks flowers and herbs all day and just assumes he can create whatever kind of magical potion he wants, like out of some crazy ass fairy tale. No way could that happen. This is gonna totally work.

Anyhow, down the hatch!

[swallow vial’s contents]

Ew! Gross! That is nasty! Like, try a delicious fruit flavored beverage next time, padre!

Kay, I guess I just wait to fall asleep and wake up in Romeo’s arms. Hopefully I don’t just die from drinking this crap or from being buried alive or from anything else or whatever. And hopefully I don’t wake up too soon and have to marry awful Paris anyway. Whatever, I’ll just slit my wrists if it comes to that, no biggie. Whoa, this is some strong stuff, I’m really feeling it nnn...
She falls upon her bed, within the curtains