SCENE IV. A room in Capulet's fuckin house.
Enter CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, and PARISCAPULET
Things have taken a rather morose turn I’m afraid, Count Paris. You see, Juliet loved her cousin Tybalt very much, and ever since she heard of his untimely demise at the hands of that villain Montague she has been quite literally inconsolable.
PARIS
[sucks teeth] Sooo... I should come back later then?
LADY CAPULET
I’ll make sure Juliet is ready to receive guests bright and early tomorrow, my lord.
CAPULET
Uh, my dear, if I may, I believe we can simplify things a bit. Juliet is our daughter after all, and therefore must do as we command, so why don’t you go see Juliet now and just tell her that Count Paris sends his regards and that she is to marry to him on Wednesday.
PARIS
Oh hey can you make that Thursday? Kind of have some shit I want to do on Wednesday. Nothing big but, I already moved twice and you know... Thursday is better.
CAPULET
Yes of course, I understand how busy things are. Absolutely, Thursday day it is. And since today is Monday evening that will give us two full days to prepare and then by Thursday afternoon my daughter will marry a count. That sounds quite splendid, doesn’t it?
PARIS
Yeah sure. Just don’t make it some big crazy ceremony. That’s not really, you know, my style and shit. I'd rather it be small but... tasteful.
CAPULET
I couldn’t agree more. A small, tasteful and elegant ceremony. I’ll arrange everything, just make sure to bring your money, eh, I mean yourself, and I’ll bring the girl, that is, my daughter, Juliet. See you next Thursday, your grace!
Exeunt
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