SCENE VI. Friar FUCKIN Laurence's cell.
Enter FRIAR FUCKIN LAURENCE and ROMEOFRIAR LAURENCE
May the lord bless this ceremony which we are about to begin, and see to it that no tragedy befalls Romeo and Juliet, and ensure that neither innocent child dies early and miserable nor after perhaps taking a few friends and relatives down with them.
ROMEO
Uh, yeah, amen to that. I think.
FRIAR LAURENCE
For as we know, the brightest lights burn out the quickest. And the love that blazes white hot in the hearts of these two, if not for the grace of our lord and savior Jesus Christ, would be assuredly destined for a swift, brutal and violent end.
Enter fuckin JULIET
Well, well, well, look who decided to finally appear at her own wedding? Still, better to dawdle on your way to getting married than to rush into things and spend the rest of eternity burning in hell because you didn’t take the time to think things through and plan them properly, as I always say.
JULIET
Yes, hello, Friar Laurence.
FRIAR LAURENCE
Hello, Juliet.
JULIET
So, like, this is it, right? We’re gonna get married now?
ROMEO
This is it, Juliet, the occasion we’ve been waiting quite literally hours for. I’ve been praying for this moment to arrive since precisely this morning, after we shared the second conversation together of our entire lives.
JULIET
Oh my god I have been like freaking out about this like ALL DAY. You have no idea.
FRIAR LAURENCE
Excellent. Then, by the power vested in me by the father, the son and the holy ghost, I now pronounce you man and wife. All right, we’re done here. Congratulations on forming the perfect life together. You did it. You really did it!
Exeunt
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