The Tragical History of Bromeo & Drooliet Act IV Scene IV

SCENE IV. Hall in Capulet's fuckin house.

Enter LADY CAPULET and Nurse
LADY CAPULET
Nurse, go to the pantry and fetch more spices for the cook.
Nurse
I’d sure like to spice things up with that new cook, if you know what I mean. And I mean have intrcourse with him.
Enter CAPULET
CAPULET
What is everybody doing laying about! Get to work! We have so much to do and so little time!
Nurse
My lord, don’t you think you should take a break? You’ll run yourself ragged at this pace.
CAPULET
Hey! What did I tell you about that smart mouth of yours, nurse?
LADY CAPULET
Come nurse, let’s go about our chores and leave Lord Capulet to his.
Exeunt LADY CAPULET and Nurse
CAPULET
I swear that fucking bitch nurse.
Enter three or four Servingmen, with spits, logs, and baskets
What’s this? What are you slaves doing?
Peter
Well boss, these logs here are about to be set on fire, creating a steady blast of intense heat, with which the food for the wedding will be prepared. I believe the process is called “cooking”.
CAPULET
Get out of my sight. Immediately.
Exit Peter
And I suppose you’ve got some smart ass comment for me as well?
Second Servant
No sir, I’m just on my way to learn more about this exciting new “cooking” phenomenon.
Exit
CAPULET
Those slaves are lucky I’m too busy to give them the severe thrashing they deserve. Come to think of it, I could really go for a quality slave whipping.
Music within
But no time for that now! Sounds like Count Paris is here to check on his bride! Nurse! Get in here!
Re-enter Nurse
Go wake Juliet, quickly, her soon to be husband approaches! Make sure her hair and makeup and everything look right and I’ll tarry the Count with conversation. Well hurry up, nurse, go!
Exeunt